90130_ Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 07:28AM
I had one of these in my shop last summer for = electrical repairs = Many
thanks to Lucas, the prince of darkness!
Nigel_Knowitall Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 07:39AM
Q)
Why do Brits drink their beer at a higher temperature than the rest of the world
does?
A)
Because Lucas made fridges before he branched into automotive electrics!
90130_ Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 07:49AM
The Lucas Electric motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden,
unexpected darkness."
Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three switch
settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.
"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any
prob...
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law.
They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the
owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all
look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one you use,
nothing happens!"
Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began
manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't
suck.
Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had trouble
with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.
Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas makes the refrigerators.
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: check the
position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your
car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy
servant."
Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
90130_ Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 07:50AM
All of these are time worn classics, but still funny!
Nigel_Knowitall Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 08:33AM
Still, I have had British cars/motorbikes since before I got my driving
license, and never had any problems.
Do not talk to me about the carburettos though...
My dad had a Jaguar Mark IX, and that was a nightmare!
My brother had a Ford Cortina, the later model, and one winter night, in a snow
storm, as I was driving it home after doing some serious inventory work, it
suddenly died on me. Nothing I did would make it start again.
I started walking home, when I suddenly in a fit of anger, I turned round,
kicked the fender, and got in to try to start it a last time. The bloody thing
started!
Later, my brother said;
Oh I always kick it on the side of the fender to start it when it has suddenly
stopped like that...
90130_ Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 08:42AM
The only real trouble any of my British cars gave me was during the restoration
projects I undertook. Procurement of all the proper bits and pieces was more
trouble than the actual work!
I drove my MG in rain and snow, taking many cross country trips over thousands
of miles without a bit of worry. The poor reputation for reliability was greatly
overstated and undeserved. My schoolmates were constantly working on their
American muscle cars while I was out driving around with their girlfriends!
90130_ Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 08:43AM
= The reputation for poor reliability = correction to my previous post.
zxzatwork Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 04:21PM
I have a land rover and I can`t say it`s Lucas` fault for all the things that
go wrong with it.
My favoutite is every time I come to unbolt something I need two sets of tools,
metric and imperial. Keeps me smiling though.
Also have an old Range Rover, no problems with carbs, it has twin strombergs,
made in sweden i`m told.
Nigel_Knowitall Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 05:21PM
I used to have a MGBGTV8, same V8 as the Range Rover, put american inlet
manifold and Hollet setup on it (and headers). Didn't have any bother at all
after that.
90130_ Report This Comment Date: October 06, 2006 11:07PM
I lusted after one of those elusive B/GT V8s, but never found one in good
enough condition to actually merit a cost effective restoration. I ended up
buying a Jaguar E-type, 4.2L Series II.