duane Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 01:38AM
Im a christian not perfect but I can still apreciate humor so read this with a
grain of salt and by the way I like Dr.Laura but bible quotes are not her
specialty.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who
call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox
Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be
condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura
penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny,
as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from your `show`, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding
some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is
not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In
this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of
menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have
tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims
that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I
own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly
states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination -
Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can
you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in
my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their
temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they
die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean,
but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in
the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds
of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.
Your devoted fan,
Jim
Anonymous Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 06:56AM
Very good one, a fellow Christian..with strong beliefs and a sense of humor..I
like that kind of thing, I don't try to analyse it, just enjoy it.I'm going to
copy and email it to some of my Christian friends to enjoy..
Anonymous Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 02:29PM
he was just crap!! all they needed was data. saved there arses every week...