The most important issue in Barack Obama's election campaign has been the amount of melanin in his skin. Obama's skin is perhaps the second largest of his body's organs, and surrounds his endoskeleton. Recent news articles have brought to light that Barack Obama is what some might call "a black man", and still others "a nigger," due to the color of this organ and the massive size of his largest organ, his penis. This has been a huge shock to many Americans, used to seeing campaign commercials for white men and then not voting for anyone.

Incidentally, when you get right down to it, he's actually half redneck.

The trusty American media sprang into action to resolve this monumental issue for a confused citizenry: Does Obama have too much melanin for America to handle?

Numerous surveys and studies were performed to find out just what effect his skin color would have on his chances for election. The results showed that most Americans are racists, and will simply vote for whoever has the same color of skin that they do. However, these same studies found that this was not the single most important deciding variable for the voting public. Americans seemed more interested in Obama's cock and balls, and Hillary Clinton's centipede nest. It seems that, rather than skin color, similar genitalia (i.e., penes or vaginae) was in fact the biggest deciding factor when Americans decide who to vote for on election day.

Republicans always liked to publish photos of him taken in the shade, making his skin look darker. He got real butthurt and in a vain attempt to make himself look more like whitey, had his bung hole bleached. Now it's hard to tell whether he's smiling or bending over. Most of the time he talks through his ass anyway.