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2022-02-23
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Founding document of all history. A clay tablet.
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Founding document of all history.  A clay tablet.

"a text on a page"

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Comments for: Founding document of all history. A clay tablet.
quasi Report This Comment
Date: February 23, 2022 12:45PM

Can we just skip to the part where Smeagol takes the ring, goes underground, loses the ring , and Bilbo finds the ring?
Peter Puller Report This Comment
Date: February 24, 2022 03:47AM

I have always wondered: what waters was his face moving across if he hadn't created planets yet?
hill bicks Report This Comment
Date: February 24, 2022 01:26PM

Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.

"Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages? Twelve thousand years."

"Well, how fucking scientific, OK. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good. You believe the world's twelve thousand years old?"

"That's right."

"OK, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?"

"Uh huh."

"Dinosaurs."

You know, the world's twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you'd think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point:

And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin'. "What a big fucking lizard, Lord!"
"I'm sure gonna mention this in my book," Luke said.
"Well, I'm sure gonna mention it in my book," Matthew said.
But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin' dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Twelve thousand years old. But I actually asked this guy, "OK, dinosaur fossils-- how does that fit into your scheme of life? What's the deal?" He goes:

"God put those here to test our faith."

"I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. I think I've figured this out."

Does that-- That's what this guy said. Does that bother anyone here? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? Anyone have trouble sleeping restfully with that thought in their head? God's running around burying fossils: "Ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now, ha ha! I'm a prankster God. I am killing me, ho ho ho!" You know? You die, you go to St. Peter:

"Did you believe in dinosaurs?"
"Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. (trapdoor opens) Aaaaarhhh!"
"You fuckin' idiot! Flying lizards? You're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!"
"It seemed so plausible, aaaaaahh!"
"Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!"

They believe this. But you ever notice how people who believe in Creationism usually look pretty unevolved. Eyes really close together, big furry hands and feet? "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

Such a weird belief. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a fucking cross, man? "Ow." Might be why he hasn't shown up yet.

"Man, they're still wearing crosses. Fuck it, I'm not goin' back, Dad. No, they totally missed the point. When they start wearing fishes, I might show up again, but... let me bury fossils with you, Dad. Fuck 'em, let's fuck with 'em! Hand me that brontosaurus head, Dad.”
Anon Report This Comment
Date: February 25, 2022 02:14AM

First, no creationist believes the earth is 12,000 years old. I don't know why you made that up, but you did.
Second, your 'conversation' is actually about ancient Greek mysticism: they're the ones who believed the 'Gods' put fossils there to fool/test us. Christians don't believe that.
Third, dinosaurs in the bible: Behemoth.

I've met three types of people who call themselves atheist:
- read the bible, liked rules against murder and robbery, liked Christ, saw what they did to him, no thanks. Tend to be educated enough to know things like there are 14.000 surviving ancient documents acknowledging the existence of Christ, more or less, tend to have seen hypocrisy or heard doctrine in real life that seem as if nothing's changed since now and then;
- spent a lot of time in the great outdoors, farmers, soldiers, hunters and so on. Noticed that nature cannot be random as it's too well organised. Realised something has to be out there. Attended church, could not believe what they heard, not going back, and;
- the third group use the term 'atheist' to cover for something else. I think that's you.
shaDEz Report This Comment
Date: February 25, 2022 08:38AM

I almost started to type something really profound then got caught up in a hypocritical metaphor so nah fuck it
Did anyone else see that seven letter word emerge out of those eleven words though
Interesting... but always keep in mind that one can get into a lot of trouble interpreting these literally... etc etc

zAzzz
you need really strong eyes to read this size text... like pro_junior has
pulse Report This Comment
Date: February 25, 2022 11:44AM

@Anon Young Earth Creationists.
quasi Report This Comment
Date: February 25, 2022 12:56PM

There are creationists who think the world is only 6000 years old, anon. There's a "replica" of Noah's ark in Kentucky built by a group of them headed by a guy named Ken Hamm, another one of those wild and crazy folks from Oz.
Anonomous Report This Comment
Date: April 26, 2024 03:27AM

Interesting. It follows the syntax of very early documents in old cuneiform. Later there would be a word at the beginning to signify what it was, such as memorandum. Notice how clear it is when it isn't cluttered with numbers?